Oscar.

How do you say goodbye to your best friend? I still don’t know even after losing you. 

You were my best friend and at times my only friend! We were together for almost fifteen years, and I would say the most important fifteen years of life. I was sixteen years old and trying to find my way, you gave me purpose and responsibility. 

This tiny bundle of excess skin, ears and paws came into my life and it was without a doubt love at first sight. I was literally obsessed with you. I guess I felt like a new mum does after giving birth to her child, I was proud of you, showing you off at every chance I got and one hundred percent devoted to you. 

The cuddles we shared were endless and of course the best. No ones cuddles can compare to your cuddles my boy. You wanted to be on top of me all the time, at the very least right beside me. Nicknamed my cuddle bug for a very good reason, we would snuggle under the duvet for hours. In those moments my heart was completely at peace. As you got older your cuddling intensified, as if that was possible. Spoilt with an Egyptian cotton duvet set because quite frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way! The way your tail would wag when you were dreaming made my heart burst with happiness. I always hoped you were dreaming of me 🙂 

Our time in South Africa, and most of your life, we enjoyed quite a few beach holidays together. Those holidays were my absolute favourite ones. You even managed to escape out the gate of my grandmothers house and I spent two hours looking for you in the pouring rain sobbing my heart out, convinced you were gone and a cane rat had eaten you! Listening with your ears was never your strong point so luckily I found you, harnessed you up and took you home. Phew! 

You loved our holidays at the beach, well the beach sand in particular. Digging trenches for days and managing to get yourself totally covered from snout to tail. It was all such fun. 

When your dad came into our lives thirteen years ago, you were not sold on the idea of having to share me. In fact I don’t think you ever were, haha! You were convinced I could only cuddle you and give only you my undivided attention. Of course I was on your side and it was definitely a ‘Love Me Love My Dog’ kinda situation… Luckily that didn’t put dad off at all. I think it made him love you even more because he knew you would protect me no matter what. It showed your loyalty towards me. 

Then it was time for our Zambian adventure to commence. With you by my side I knew I could handle anything. Our flight to Zambia was the longest two hours of my whole life. I was a nervous wreck. So many thoughts were running through my mind. Were you scared, were you warm enough, was it too loud for you. We landed, I rushed through customs, collected our baggage, gave dad a half hearted hug and kiss and immediately said “We need to get Oscar NOW”. Bearing in mind it was about forty degrees celsius outside and now I was worried you would overheat or dehydrate. Dad firmly told me to wait in the car while he goes inside, he didn’t want me to get upset if I saw something I wasn’t happy with. Dad came rushing out the cargo hold to call me, I bounced out the car because I thought something was wrong… I peered into the hold and saw the most gorgeous boy sitting so proper and so calm in his specially made flight crate. A wave of massive relief and happiness flooded over me. My boy was totally fine. He handled that plane trip like a champ! Our new adventure had just begun… 

You were never the ‘fetch’ kind of pup and as a result your toys just piled up until your toy boxes were overflowing. Enter Zara… All your toys were gone within a few weeks! I was a little apprehensive about getting Zara because we had been kicked out of two different doggy schools for your apparent aggression towards any other dog in your need to protect me. Ooops…

Needless to say, you were a fantastic big brother to Zara. You don’t show your emotions like Zara does, but in your own way you adored her and she knew it. You taught her so much, how to eat like a lady, how to model like a beauty queen and most importantly how to cuddle. 

You were an amazing big brother to our bunny babies too. So kind and gentle towards them. You taught Zara gentleness too. She watched how you loved your bunny babies and copied you. 

To say that I miss you is a serious understatement. In fact there are no words to describe the feeling of loss that I have. I wake up every morning and see your empty bed, and the pain in my heart from the day before returns. At night I still make your bed in the exact way you loved it. I don’t think I will ever stop making your bed. Zara sniffs your bedding, does some twirls and then settles down for a while before going off to her own bed. She misses you too. 

Stylish Paws and everything about it was created because of you. It started off as just a small website selling one item, now I have a beautiful online store that showcases stylish and unique pet goodies plus this amazing blog. I am so proud of Stylish Paws and what I have made it into, but it’s all because of you my boy! You will always be the face of Stylish Paws. I will never stop sharing you with the world. I will push through the pain and promise to keep moving forward. Product reviews and photoshoots will never be the same without you but I promise to showcase Zara in the best way I know how. I promise to carry on for you. 

The love and support I have received from the amazing Instagram community that I find myself in has been overwhelming. I continue to get messages asking how we as a family are coping, genuine messages of love and concern for us. Instagram is a wonderful thing, I have made some beautiful friendships thorough the app. It was the place I started sharing Oscar first. The place where people started falling in love with him, people from all over the world. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Life goes on and for the time being we are adjusting and learning how to do life without Oscar. It’s tough, extremely tough. I have only known life in Zambia with Oscar. We started this adventure together, now I have to carry it on. Zara has brought immense joy into our family and I do believe that she has helped me with this huge loss. I thank my husband for her. I thank him for having the foresight of knowing and understanding I would need her to get through this.

Oscar, I will never stop loving you.

Until we meet again…

Love always

Mom

xoxox

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